


To Feel Alive

by canadiankazz



Category: Vampire: The Masquerade, Vampire: The Masquerade - L.A. By Night (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bed Sex, Blood Drinking, Blow Jobs, Couch Sex, Cunnilingus, Emotions, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Fellatio, Sharing a Bed, Vaginal Fingering, Vampire Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2020-10-26 00:44:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20733458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadiankazz/pseuds/canadiankazz
Summary: On the 50th anniversary of Eva's embrace, all she wants to do is forget and feel alive again, even if just for a little while.Contains mild spoilers for up to the end of Season 3 and the Epilogues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
Cover by PuzzleDragon
> 
> This is my first ever attempt at writing Jeva smut. I was nervous about writing it, but I think I'm pleased over-all with how it's turned out. Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thanks to Cravatfiend, Alex's Skeleton Army and Josephine's Sugarcube Army for the encouragement!

Jasper was trying not to pace. Eva said she was coming over. She had messaged him to say she would be there in an hour, but that was an hour and a half ago. Irritated and anxious, Jasper growled. It was out of character for Eva to be late like this. Anxiously but carefully, Jasper slipped out of his sanctum to go and find her. The August night air was hot and still around him. Griffith Park was alive with the buzz and chirp of nighttime insects.

Jasper was about halfway to the Observatory when raised voices made him pause. He activated obfuscate and stealthed his way closer, keeping a very careful eye out. The raised voices were both female, and he quickly recognised them - Eva and Katya, having an argument. Jasper growled to himself and listened.

“But Evangeline, why?” Katya demanded.

“You _ know _ I don’t like to celebrate it,” Eva said, sounding upset.

“You used to,” Katya retorted, sounding bitter. “You and I had such wonderful times, Evangeline. What happened?”

Eva was quiet, hugging herself and glaring at her sire. “That was a long time ago. Things are different now.”

“This is a special anniversary tonight. I just wanted to spend it with you but… all you want to do is argue with me,” Katya sighed. She rubbed her temple, as if she had a headache. Jasper assumed it was leftover reflex from her mortal life. Eva shook her head mutely and Katya tisked at her, continuing her rant. “Fifty years, Evangeline. I thought… we could listen to some records, dance like old times… maybe do some spells?”

“I don’t want to do any of those things. I don’t want to… remember that. Please… Katya… I just want to be left alone,” Eva begged.

Katya pressed her lips together in a tense line. “Fine,” she said sharply, “but I am trying to give you an olive branch, Evangeline, and one of these nights, my patience with you is going to run out.” With that, Katya turned and left the park. Eva put her face in her hands and kneeled down in the grass, shaking.

Jasper waited until he was perfectly certain that Katya was gone, then revealed himself and stepped softly over to Eva.

“Eva,” he whispered.

She started and looked up at him, quickly wiping blood away from her eyes. “Jasper, I’m sorry… I meant to come but…”

“I know. I… caught the last part of it.” He knelt down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. 

“So you heard about… the anniversary?” Eva asked.

Jasper nodded.

Eva sighed and leaned in against him. He wrapped his arms around her. “She didn’t understand why… I wouldn't be happy about being dead for fifty years,” Eva mumbled into his chest.

Jasper snarled quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Eva sniffled. “It’s not your fault. I uh… I was actually wanting to see you tonight in the hopes that I might forget this anniversary.”

“We can still do that,” Jasper offered. “Come down to my place.”

Eva nodded. “Thank you.”

They stood and Jasper led her down the lawns and through the trees to the LA River. 

Down inside his sanctum, Eva settled onto the IKEA sofa in Jasper’s library. She had been here several times before, and it was starting to feel like home. Jasper sat next to her, nervously cracking his knuckles. He loved having Eva visit him down here. In the privacy and security of his home, they could relax their guard a little and practice the intimacy they had started to develop between them.

“So…” Jasper began. “Other than… all that tonight, how have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. Nothing new to report. You?”

Jasper shook his head. “Not since last time,” he said with a little smile. 

Eva studied his gaunt face. She reached over to him and stroked a finger along his jawline. He closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. 

“Is there… anything you miss about being human?” Eva asked softly. “I mean… besides the obvious?”

Jasper frowned. “There are a lot of things I miss, yeah.”

“Me too. As the years go on, I’m worried that I’ll forget most of them,” Eva said. She sounded very sad. “I don’t want to forget what it’s like to be human.”

“You’re still more human than I am,” Jasper reminded her with a dry little smile. “And I think you always will be.”

Eva studied him again, thinking. Jasper wished he could read her mind, just for this moment. 

“Will you do something for me, Jasper?” Eva asked at last. She seemed to have come to some kind of decision, but it was one she was nervous about.

“Of course. What is it?”

“Please, Jasper, I…” Eva swallowed down her nerves. “I want to feel as human as I can tonight.”

He wasn’t a hundred percent sure where she was going with this, but he didn’t want to deny her anything. “Alright… um…”

“Do you know how to activate blush of life?” Eva asked him suddenly.

Jasper blinked in great surprise. This conversation had taken a turn he was not expecting. “Uh…”

Eva bit her lip and looked away. “I’m sorry. That was very blunt. You don’t… you don’t have to answer that.”

“No, I uh… I don’t know. I never have before.”

Eva glanced at him again, a little surprised. “You’ve never?”

Jasper gave her a shy smile. “Never had reason to.”

Eva sighed sadly. She gently placed her white hand on top of his. “Do you mind if I do it?”

“Uh, n-no. I don’t mind. You can do whatever you want.” Jasper swallowed.

There was a pause, then Eva’s hand started to get warm on top of Jasper’s. It was a subtle, but noticeable thing compared to the deathly cold her skin normally was. Jasper blinked and slowly rotated his hand to feel hers. His eyes went from her hand to her face. Eva was still pale, but there was a slight rosy tinge to her cheeks and lips. He couldn’t help but stare a little as her chest rose and fell with artificial breath. The faintest of flushes crept over Eva’s ivory skin as he watched.

“Jasper, you’re staring,” she said.

Jasper flinched and looked down. Though Eva had spoken gently, he was embarrassed. Eva giggled and stroked her hand up his arm. 

“It’s alright,” she whispered, soothing him. “I don’t mind. Do you want to try?”

Jasper nervously shook his head. “Nnn… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Eva’s body pressed a little closer to him. He could smell the flowers in her hair. “That’s alright,” she said softly.

She was close enough to kiss him now, and she did. He was a little tense at first, but within moments, he relaxed. Eva’s soft lips were warm compared to his and he felt a new kind of hunger grow inside him. It was a part of him he thought had died a long time ago. Ever since that first kiss in the labyrinth, it had started to wake up. Now, it flared inside of him and he found himself pressing into the kiss, deepening it. He felt her tongue touch his fangs and she pulled back. Eva’s skin was downright pink now and her breathing was heavier.

“I… I’m sorry, I…” Jasper started, but Eva put a finger to his lips, shushing him.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. I want this… do you?”

He nodded, and surprised himself by doing so. Yes, he realised. Yes, he did want this. Other Kindred did and felt no shame… so why shouldn't he?

Eva leaned in close and kissed him again, eyes closed, devouring him. It seemed a hunger was re-awakening in her as well. A desire to lose herself in the moment, to make her body remember sensations long forgotten, to feel utterly _ alive _.

Eva’s hands found Jasper’s and placed them on her body, encouraging him to feel her. He did so with some hesitation, stroking up and down her back and settling his touch on her hips. Eva squirmed a little, wanting more. She knew he had been reluctant to touch her in the past, and justifiably so. She wanted to banish those fears from his mind forever.

Eva nuzzled Jasper and reached up to slide his hood off his head. He didn’t resist. She trailed her fingers over the veins of his scalp, going down his neck. “You don’t have to hide with me,” she said softly, trailing kisses to his ear.

Jasper smirked. “Force of habit.”

“Mmm,” Eva purred.

Jasper’s hands found the hem of her shirt and crept under, feeling the smooth skin beneath. Eva’s skin burst into goosebumps at his chilly touch. He hesitated again, not sure how far he should push this, scared that at any moment, Eva would pull back in repulsion. She sensed his caution and smiled.

“It’s alright, Jasper,” Eva breathed. “I want you to touch me.”

Jasper’s heart was still, but he almost wished it wasn’t. He missed the feeling of it racing, like it was going to explode. “I… if you want me to stop…”

“I will let you know,” Eva promised. She reached down and in one smooth motion, removed her shirt. She pulled it off over her head and let it drop to the floor. “Likewise… if you are too uncomfortable…?”

Jasper’s eyes were wide, taking in Eva’s body. She hadn’t been wearing anything under her shirt and was now bare-chested in front of him. Blush of life made her nipples perk in the cold subterranean air.

“Uh…” he stuttered, at a complete loss for words.

Eva smiled and bit her lower lip playfully. “Are you too uncomfortable?”

“N-no… I just… it’s…”

Eva tilted her head to one side and waited for him to get his thoughts together. “Has it been a long time?”

“Well… kind of? I mean… at the Maharani there’s sometimes… but not… not like this.”

“Not just for you?”

“Yeah,” Jasper sighed. His voice was getting a little rougher.

“Would you like to touch me?” Eva asked. Her nerves and anxieties from earlier were quickly disappearing. She felt oddly bold and daring in a way she hadn’t felt for decades. “I would very much… like you to touch me.”

He nodded and slowly let his hands drift up Eva’s rib cage until he could cup her breasts. Her eyes half-closed as he massaged her gently. A soft moan echoed in her throat. He was good. Obviously a little out of practice, but so was she, when it came to that. It had been such a long time since she had allowed anyone to touch her this way. Her dead heart was fluttering. Butterflies in her stomach. Pleasure started to bloom and tingle between her legs. It had been so very long… Eva had almost forgotten how good something like this could be. 

Jasper seemed encouraged by the moan, and pressed himself in closer to kiss her again. She welcomed it, wrapping her arms around him and feeling the fabric on his back. She wished suddenly that he would remove a few layers too, but decided not to press the issue for now. If he felt comfortable enough to do so later… then fine. If not, then that was also fine.

Jasper’s kisses moved down Eva’s throat. She tilted her head back, thrilling faintly at the careful brush of his fangs. “Will you...?” she trailed off with a sigh.

“Will I what?” he growled softly.

“Bite me again?”

Jasper pulled back a little bit. “Do you want me to?”

She looked at him, her fingers stroking up the back of his neck. “Maybe later… if you are hungry and… have been good.”

Jasper smirked and she could see his fangs. Another tiny thrill went through her. “I’m not good at… being good,” he said.

“Make an effort. I believe in you,” Eva challenged gently.

He growled again in response and went back to kissing her neck. The growl made her shiver. Eva nudged his hands again to continue their magic on her chest and he complied with tender squeezing. 

“You’re so warm,” he said softly.

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry my hands are cold.”

Eva smiled and nuzzled him. “It’s fine, Jasper,” she assured him again. “Your hands are lovely.”

“I used to… play piano a long time ago.”

“Mm-hmm, I can tell.”

Jasper chuckled softly. “Yeah?”

“Yes. I know from… very distant, previous experience that musicians can make wonderful lovers. They have such clever hands.”

Jasper made a kind of choked growl that made Eva giggle. She shifted her legs, parting them slightly before leaning back onto the sofa. She pulled Jasper down with her, laying him on top of her. She kissed him, but he pulled back a little, automatically adjusting his long, bony body so as not to crush or poke her. Eva also adjusted, making herself comfortable and once both were settled, she kissed him again.

“So… this feels alright then?” Jasper asked after a moment. He ran his thumb over Eva’s nipple, making her twitch and gasp in pleasure.

“Yes! Oh… _ yes _…”

He did it again, gradually getting more comfortable and playful. He tried not to think about his personal fears that she might still push him away. If she hadn’t done so yet… he doubted she was ever going to.

“I could let you keep touching me forever,” Eva sighed.

“Forever?”

“Mm-hmm.” Eva nodded. Her lips curved into a sly little smile as she started to pull her skirt up her thigh, bunching it at her waist. “Forever and _ everywhere_.”

Jasper frowned, confused by what she meant by that until he noticed her pulling her skirt up. Her legs were slowly exposed, bit by bit. He stopped and stared as it was gradually revealed that she wasn’t wearing underwear either.

“Uh…” Jasper stammered, his brain short-circuiting again. “You… do you ever wear underwear?”

Eva’s smile widened, amused by his reaction. “Sometimes… but… even when I was alive, it was seen as… optional by the group I lived with.”

“Oh…right… hippy at Woodstock,” Jasper mumbled.

“Yes,” Eva acknowledged. She shifted slightly, parting her legs a little. “But we’re trying to forget about that right now, right?”

“Uh… right. Yes.”

“So… I would very much like you to keep touching me… if that’s alright with you,” Eva said.

“Are you sure?”

Eva arched an eyebrow at him. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jasper looked away from her and muttered very softly, almost too softly for her to hear. She was, however, able to catch the word “Nosferatu.” She put a hand to his chest, then gripped the collar of his hoodie and pulled him close to her face again, her lips meeting his hungrily.

“I don’t care,” she said between increasingly desperate kisses, “if you are a Nosferatu. I want you, and… we can stop if you want to, but…_ please_…”

There was a pause, and in that pause Eva wasn’t sure what Jasper was going to do.

But then she felt his cold hand between her legs, his fingers probing with caution at the wetness he had promoted her body to produce. She moaned in long-forgotten pleasure. It wasn’t like the ecstasy that came from feeding on fresh Vitae. That was bliss for her Beast. This now, was all about Eva’s body and mind. Jasper continued, sliding a long, dexterous finger inside her. Eva twitched and clenched her muscles around him.

“Yes…” she breathed, clutching at him.

Eva let Jasper continue to explore, giving him never-ending encouragement. His nails were sharp, but he moved slowly and carefully enough for it not to be as issue. He growled softly with every moan or gasp that he prompted from her body. When his thumb found her clit and started to move against it, Eva trembled. It was a slow, delicious build up that tapered off when Jasper pulled back.

Eva blinked at him, flushed and breathing hard. She had started to sweat. She was about to ask him if he wanted to stop, if it was all getting too much for him, but Jasper wasn’t getting up to leave her. He shifted, half-kneeling his tall body on the floor, and pulled Eva’s body a little closer to him. His face was level with her pelvis. Eva gasped. This was a bold move from him that she had not expected.

“May I?” Jasper rumbled. He licked his fangs.

Eva nodded. “Yes, y-you may. No biting though.”

Jasper smirked with a small chuckle. He shifted one of her knees to rest over his shoulder and leaned his face forwards. As soon as his tongue touched her, Eva cried out faintly. She clutched at her bunched-up skirt and the edge of the sofa cushion. Jasper continued, licking and sucking. Eva moaned with every exhale. The thought once again drifted through her passion-filled brain that though he was a little out of practice, Jasper was by no means bad at this. She almost screamed when he slid a finger inside her again, curling his knuckle against her G-Spot.

“_Oh yes_! There, there!” she whined. “_Ah_… like that… don’t stop...”

He added a second finger, stretching her, stroking, rubbing, thrusting, increasing the pleasure until she couldn't take it any more. Eva grunted and moaned, trembling, clenching around him. He licked a little harder and faster and she clutched at the back of his head. Eva’s brain turned into a static of lust and pleasure. The entire world save for her and him were, for a few moments, completely forgotten.

Eva keened another high-pitched moan in over-stimulation as Jasper pulled back and withdrew from her. He wiped his face and his hands and watched Eva laying bonelessly on the sofa, mostly naked. She felt him sit beside her and she sat up and curled her trembling body into his, clutching at him. He put an arm around her to comfort and steady her.

“I can’t believe we… I can’t believe we just did that,” he chuckled.

“_Mmm _…” Eva sighed in bliss, coming down from her hormonal high. “I can.”

“You… did it… was it good?”

Eva nuzzled him. “Yes… very.”

“‘Very’?”

“There’s… perhaps some… cobwebs you and I need to shake off but… for now… very good, yes.” Eva sighed again, content, and nuzzled down into his chest. “You’ve been… good.”

Jasper kissed the top of her head. “Good to know.”

They were quiet for a few comfortable minutes. Jasper stroked the smooth, white skin of Eva’s bare back and shoulders. He smiled as she purred.

Eventually, Eva sat up. She adjusted her skirt back down to cover herself and stretched her arms. Jasper caught himself staring at her again but this time, he didn’t feel quite as embarrassed.

“Are you hungry?” Eva asked him.

Jasper shook his head. For the first time in forever, he kind of wished that he was. “No, thank you. I’m fine for right now.”

Her hand rested on his chest, over where his heartbeat would be if it existed. “Alright but… later, tomorrow night perhaps, if you would like to… you may feed from me.”

Jasper took her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing her fingers gently. “Thank you,” he growled softly. He couldn't help but notice that Eva’s fingers were going cold again. Her chest had also gone still. She had dropped blush of life.

“Do you feel better?” he asked.

“Yes,” Eva answered with little hesitation. “This has turned into a wonderful night, thanks to you.” She cupped his cheek with her palm and felt him smile.

“Would you like to grab a book?” he suggested. “Come to bed and read until dawn?”

“That sounds lovely,” Eva agreed. 

They stood, and while Eva selected a novel from his library, Jasper found her one of his old hoodies. It was patched and worn, but clean and soft. He placed it around her shoulders and Eva snuggled into the dark fabric. It contrasted sharply against the rest of her and the sleeves were too long, but she smiled regardless. Her eyes sparkled as she thanked him.

Jasper and Eva moved to the bedroom and snuggled together on his narrow bed. Eva read the novel she had chosen out loud while Jasper held the book and turned the pages. In time, they slept there, lost in their own world, dreaming of each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next night, Jasper and Eva continue to explore each other's bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone in the Skeleton Army and the Sugarcube Army who encouraged me to write another chapter to this. Thank you also to Alex Ward and Josephine McAdum, who both read Chapter 1 and gave me positive feedback, including Alex confirming in his twitch stream that yes, [Jasper can use Blush of Life](https://clips.twitch.tv/TastyScrumptiousStarVoHiYo).

Consciousness came to Eva slowly, like the clouds parting around the moon. She opened her eyes to a very dark room and the ever-increasing familiar and comforting lean, bony body of Jasper laying next to her. She could only just make out his outline in the darkness. She traced a white hand up his chest and rested it over his dead heart. He had finally healed the last painful remains of his stake wound some time ago. She pressed gently against his ribs, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him.

A smile slowly appeared on Eva’s lips as she remembered the night before. True, it hadn’t started off very well, but it sure as hell ended on a high note. She fidgeted with the wrist cuff of the hoodie Jasper had loaned her. Wearing the old hoodie made her feel special, better than any of the furs Katya had tried to make her wear a long time ago. He had also succeeded in making her body feel good in ways long denied. She had felt alive again, if only for a while. The memory of it made her want to repeat the experience, and soon.

She could still remember a distant time when Katya was her whole world, when they would do everything together, when Eva considered herself to be _ hers_. Well, those nights were long since past. Eva’s heart belonged to another now, whether he thought himself deserving of it, or not.

Jasper’s body stirred beneath her fingers. She heard and felt the vibration of a growl. It made her smile again.

“Hey,” Jasper growled gently.

“Hello,” Eva replied softly. She leaned up, finding his face in the dark and gave him a small kiss before settling back down with her head against his shoulder and chest. She could hear him smiling.

“Sleep well?” he asked.

“Mmm… yes.” Eva stretched her body against him, her toes brushing his feet. “I really like waking up with you next to me.”

“I like it too,” Jasper admitted. His arm was along her back, supporting her and keeping her from falling off the narrow bed. His hand was on her hip. Eva smiled again, remembering where that hand had been the night before. Jasper noticed. “You seem in a good mood,” he said, some humour in his voice. “I wonder why?”

“I’m remembering last night,” Eva said, kissing his chest the fabric of his shirt and wishing that cloth barrier wasn’t there.

“Yeah? You still think you had a good time?”

“I _ know _ I did,” Eva insisted quietly. “You… should not sell yourself short.”

Jasper rumbled and Eva kissed him again, attracted to the vibrations.

“And I would be more than willing to do something like that again in the future,” Eva continued. “The… very near future.” She trailed her kisses back up to his face, then paused. “But… only if you want to, of course.”

“I was thinking about that, actually,” Jasper admitted. “And… I think…”

Eva waited, half laying on top of him, for Jasper to come up with the right words. She tried to put a tamper on her imagination, which only wanted to think of the things they could do to each other if he were willing.

“Yes?” Eva prompted.

“I think that… yeah.”

“‘Yeah?’” Eva repeated with a small giggle. “Yeah to what?”

“I do want to do… more stuff. Um… w-with you.”

“Stuff like last night?”

She could feel him nod. “Yeah, and um… if you wanted to help me with… blush of life…”

Eva smiled warmly in the darkness and kissed his lips. “I would be honoured,” she whispered, then kissed him again.

Jasper’s arms came up Eva’s back, much like they had the night before. In the darkness, unable to see each other clearly without the use of disciplines, it thrilled her. He pressed her against his body, pulling her on top of him fully. The kiss continued, Eva’s hair falling down around her shoulders to brush against his face. She felt that desire again, that need to feel alive.

Eva pulled back briefly and concentrated. The butterflies had returned to her stomach and she wanted her body to reflect that. Her blood surged and she felt the blush come to her chest, neck and cheeks. Her breasts, bare under the loaned hoodie, moved as she breathed. Jasper growled in approval, feeling the renewed warmth of her body. He pulled her down for another kiss. Their fangs clashed and he flinched.

“Sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Eva assured him, kissing her way to his ear. “I’m not as delicate as you think I am.”

“I, um… well…” he stammered. Jasper’s hand found the place in her back where he had once seen a lance stab her through, back in Anaheim. “I know but… I do worry,” he admitted softly.

Eva put her hand over his still heart again. “I know the feeling.”

They held each other quietly for a few moments, just touching gently through fabric.

“Would you like me to get the light?” Eva asked.

“No, I… um…” Jasper cleared his throat. “I think for right now… until I’m more comfortable with… you know…”

“You feel safer in the dark?”

He chuckled dryly. It was ironic, considering his many deadly brushes with the Lasombra. “Lately? No, but in here, with you… yeah.”

“Alright.”

“Besides… I’m not sure anyone’s ready to see my body yet.”

“I am,” Eva said. “If you’re willing to show me… I want to see it.”

She could feel him tense up, wanting to self-deprecate again. Eva stroked her hand down his rib cage. 

“Remember what I told you last night, Jasper,” she said gently, but with confidence. “I don’t care what you look like. Your body doesn’t scare me and it doesn’t disgust me.”

“You haven’t seen it yet,” he muttered.

“Let me be the judge.”

“Okay…” Jasper said reluctantly, “but… not now. For now though… you can feel me. Um… if you want.”

Eva’s breath caught in her throat. “Yes, if you’re sure.”

Jasper proved he was sure by gently pushing her back just enough to let him wriggle out of his hoodie. It hit the floor in the darkness with a muffled _ flump_. Eva gasped softly. She could only see the faint outline of him, without detail. He was like a ghost, but one that was very much firm and present beneath her careful touch. Jasper lay back down with a little snarl as Eva started to explore.

“If you want to stop, please let me know…” she said softly.

She felt Jasper nod and heard him lick his fangs.

Permission granted, Eva slowly and carefully felt along his ribs. She had always assumed he’d be skeleton-like, and she had not been wrong. There was hidden muscle there too, in his arms and shoulders. Her fingers brushed his nipple and he snarled.

“Sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay… I’m just… getting used to it,” Jasper rumbled quietly. “I’ve grown to… um… really rather loathe my body, you know.”

“Well… I like what I can feel so far,” Eva assured him. She bent to kiss his chest, loving that she was able to, that he trusted her enough to do this. 

Jasper growled again.

“No, honestly, I do,” Eva insisted. She kissed the spot over his heart. His skin was cold, dry and dead, but she didn’t care. “I like it because I like _ you_.” 

Eva kissed her way up to his lips again to stop him having a chance to argue with her. Her hands took over the exploration, mapping out his torso and arms. She felt his arms move and his hands found the bottom hem of the hoodie she wore. They worked together to strip it off her body and it landed on the floor with the other one.

Eva was trying to keep her breathing steady. It was difficult. Being shirtless again, in the dark, on top of him, and with him shirtless as well… it seemed so simple and yet so exciting at the same time.

“Will you touch me again, please?” Eva breathed. “Please? I love your hands.”

Jasper growled softly in approval and moved his hands up her body. Eva sighed in pleasure, moaning quietly when his clever fingers found her breasts and nipples. He re-traced the motions he had made on her the previous night, massaging, caressing and teasing. Eva writhed slightly, biting her lip, feeling the pleasure grow inside of her again. She placed her palms on his bare torso, fingers still exploring his chest. Her heart hammered and she sighed. Something was missing.

“Jasper?” she asked.

“Mm?” he growled.

“Are you… do you want to try to blush?”

His hands moved away, down Eva’s sides to settle on her hips and legs. He was quiet for a long moment. Eva stroked his skin gently, soothingly. She had waited for a long time to be able to touch him like this. She was about to say that it was okay, that he didn’t have to try blush of life tonight, but then he spoke.

“Yeah. Let’s try.”

Eva moved, laying down by his side again. Her chest pressed against his, skin-to-skin. She liked the feel of that. She liked it very much. Jasper gave her a little squeeze. He liked it too, more than he was brave enough to admit in the moment. Eva kept her palm against his chest, so that she would be able to feel his heart when it began beating again.

“Okay,” she said softly. “Now… relax. Let your body remember what it feels like to breathe. Let me feel you breathe, Jasper.”

Jasper inhaled and exhaled once. Kindred still have to move air in and out to talk and smell, so one breath was no problem. Eva appreciated the rise and fall of his chest.

“Good,” she said. “Again, nice and slow.”

Jasper repeated the motion, growling on the exhale.

“Good,” Eva encouraged softly. “Let your body remember how to do this. It knows, it just needs to be woken up. Rouse your blood here.” She pressed down against his heart. “Breathe again.”

Jasper inhaled again and Eva felt a tremor in his chest. A flicker, a flutter… and then Jasper snarled with effort, hunger and pain as his heart began to beat again. He exhaled, growling, and didn’t need prompting to continue to breathe. Eva smiled, hugging him.

“You did it! How does it feel?”

“Weird,” Jasper growled, clinging to her. His body was still cold, like someone with hypothermia. He shivered in Eva’s arms, his dead heart racing. It was like it remembered it had five years of beating to catch up on and wanted to get it done all at once.

“It’s alright. Take your time to get used to it,” she soothed. Jasper’s breaths were coming harshly, like he was fighting against them, hyper-ventilating. “Shhh…slowly now. It’s alright,” Eva whispered. “Easy… you’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you. Easy… you’re okay.”

Slowly, Jasper’s breathing evened out. Eva continued to soothe him, breathing slowly and deeply with him. “Good. You’re doing good. You feel okay?”

Jasper swallowed and cleared his throat before trying to speak. “It’s so weird…” He laughed a little. “I’ve missed this.” He put his hand over Eva’s on his heart.

Eva kissed his shoulder, giving Jasper time to ease back into the feeling of his body breathing and heart beating. His skin was slowly starting to warm. Jasper wanted to enjoy the feeling, but his Beast wasn’t at all happy with him.

_ “What is this?” _hissed the voice inside him. _ “What are we doing? Eva is so warm… what does warm vitae taste like? We must have it… must have her… bite her, take her more and more and more and more...” _

“Jasper?” Eva asked. He didn’t respond right away, growling to himself. “Jasper?”

“Mm? Yeah?” he said, pushing the Beast down.

“Are you okay?”

“My Beast doesn’t like this,” Jasper grumbled. His throat sounded dry.

Eva was a little worried now. “Do you want to stop?”

“N-no…” Jasper reached over in the darkness and stroked Eva’s cheek down to her shoulder and arm. “No. I just need another minute to get used to this again.”

Eva bit her lip, considering. “Would Vitae help?”

Jasper twitched. “What?”

“Did it make you hungry? Would Vitae help?”

_ “Yes…” _ hissed Jasper’s Beast. He growled to himself to shush it again.

“Yes,” he said out loud. “But please don’t feel like you have to…”

“I know I don’t have to. I _ want _ to. Besides… it’s only upset with you now because of me.” Eva stroked Jasper’s face in a similar way he had hers. She couldn't see his eyes, but she gazed at him tenderly all the same.

Eva pulled Jasper into another kiss. This one felt different than the others. There was a faint warmth to Jasper’s skin now, and his breath on her cheek. It made her heart skip. Her hands moved on his body again, enjoying the life it had inside it, even if it was artificial. Eva moved and encouraged Jasper to kiss her neck. He did, forcing himself to be gentle. He found a spot that made her moan and shiver against him.

“I like this,” Eva whispered. “I like feeling you breathe.”

“I’m glad,” he murmured. He could feel her neck pulsing with blush of life. The temptation to bite her was rising again. His next breath shook and Eva pulled back.

“Let me feed you,” she offered again. “I trust you… and it will help, I think.”

Jasper sat up a little in the bed. “I’m not used to… Vitae being offered to me like this.”

“I know,” Eva said, sitting up with him. “But… I want you to feel good.” She caressed his cheek again. “I... really like how your body feels, and I hope you let me see it one night. _ Feeling _ you is an honour though, and I’m loving it. Your heartbeat feels wonderful against my palm.” She stroked his chest again to prove it. “You’re starting to feel warm, Jasper.”

“Mmm,” Jasper sighed. He leaned against her. “_You _ feel wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Eva smiled. “Will you let me feed you?”

“Alright,” Jasper agreed quietly, pushing his anxiety down along with the voice of his Beast.

Jasper put his hands on Eva’s shoulders, moving her body gently, pulling her back down to the mattress. As moved on top of her, Eva’s heart beat hard in anticipation. Jasper kissed her neck, pausing to brush aside her hair, then kissed her again. She kept her hands on him, feeling his chest, clinging to him. She was surprised by how unafraid she was, and how badly she wanted this. Yes, she had consented, but now it was like her body was crying out to feel his fangs in her skin again.

Jasper picked his spot on Eva’s neck where he could feel her fluttering pulse. He opened his mouth and, with great care, sunk his fangs into her white skin.

Eva gasped at the pain. Jasper growled and moaned in pleasure, muffled by her skin. Her Vitae had been warmed by blush of life and Jasper could taste the desire in it. Eva clung to him as he swallowed, her heart racing now. She gave him her Vitae, swallow after swallow of it. Eva was glad, not for the first time and not for the last, that her clan bane meant no fear of blood bonding him. Thoughts of wanting to feed him more often drifted through her head, even as she began to feel dizzy. Her own Beast was starting to stir inside her like a sleeping cat waking up and stretching. Her grip on him tightened.

“Jasper…” she exhaled, her voice only just audible.

She felt his tongue on her skin and the pain of the bite ceased. Jasper pulled back and, before Eva had a chance to ask him if he was feeling better, he kissed her, hard. Jasper pressed Eva down into the pillow. He had tasted her desire for him along with the warmth of her potent Vitae, and now it was driving his actions and fueling his own re-awakening desires. There was fire in this kiss, given and received from both of them. 

Eva found one of his hands and placed it back on her breast. He needed no further encouragement and resumed kneading and massaging her chest. Jasper kissed down her neck, over her collar bone, and down to one of her nipples. A throaty moan escaped Eva’s throat as he kissed and suckled on her. Her hands went to the back of his head and neck.

“_Yes… _ ” she moaned. “That feels _ good_, yes… mmm…”

She heard him growl again and move his attentions to the other breast. Eva squirmed, feeling her arousal growing between her legs, like an ember back into a flame.

“Touch me, Jasper please…” she begged, craving his hands upon her. She started to try to pull her skirt up again, but Jasper stopped her. Eva made a little confused sound and Jasper kissed her.

“I will,” he said, breathing hard again. This time though, with the edge taken off his Beast and the heat of her blood in his system, is was more with arousal than with any kind of distress. “I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

He was about to move down her body again, with the intention of taking her skirt off, when Eva stopped him. “Wait…”

“Yes?”

“I want to see you… even if it’s just with auspex. Please?”

Jasper sighed, undecided. Eva touched his chest again, feeling his heartbeat and stroking his collarbone.

“Okay, with auspex,” Jasper consented.

“Thank you,” Eva whispered. She blinked hard, focusing her eyes to sense what had, until then, been unseen. Her vision cut through the darkness of the room and she saw Jasper, crouched over her on the bed, his body looming over her. She gasped softly. The black veins were visible on the pale skin of his chest and arms. They spread and branched out from his heart, like tributaries of ink across parchment. She touched his chest again, delicately. He was a little warm now, but she guessed when he didn’t have blush of life on, his skin would feel like dry, maybe slightly sandy, marble. He was a work of art.

“Oh… Jasper…” Eva breathed.

“What?” he said, a degree of anxiety in his voice. He couldn't see her looking at him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

“You’re _ beautiful_,” Eva said.

Jasper started to say something, but snarled. _ She must be lying_, he thought. _ She can’t really think that… _

But there was something in her voice… and he had tasted such passion and desire for him in her blood just now…

“No, _ really_…” Eva stressed, stroking his side and back. “You are an acquired taste for sure, but I think… you are beautiful, and I _ want _ you.” She kissed him, hot and needing. He melted into it, his passions flaring up again.

“Now,” Eva commanded, finishing her earlier thoughts with her own little growl. “I want you to touch me and don’t stop until I scream.”

Her auspex picked out Jasper’s grin in the darkness. He licked his fangs and she shivered. Jasper moved, pulling Eva’s skirt off her body, leaving her naked on the narrow bed. He was quickly on her again, his hand between her legs, his fingers probing. 

The night prior, he had started out cautiously, afraid she would stop him, that he was going too far, that he had forgotten how to draw out pleasure in a sexual partner. Now though, emboldened by her blood and her words, Jasper showed no such hesitation. Eva moaned as he slid his fingers inside of her, then withdrew them to rub at her clit. He still felt like he was still learning her body a little, working out what she liked. She seemed to like everything he did to her. She whimpered when he drew little circles on her clit, or up and down lines, with fingers or thumb, indirect or zeroed in. His lips found one of her nipples again to suck on as he fingered her, curling his knuckles against her G-spot. Eva startled to tremble, clutching at him, moaning with increasing urgency on every breath. Eva bit her lip, stifling louder moans as she clenched rhythmically around his fingers. It was a small release, but it still left her gasping and twitching.

Jasper withdraw his hand and Eva watched in breathless wonder as he sat back and licked his fingers clean. No one had ever done that after fingering her before, not even when she was alive. “I… Jasper…”

“Mmm?” he growled softly. 

“That felt_ so good_…”

“Good, but I’m not done.” He smirked at her and Eva’s already pounding hard skipped in excitement.

“No?”

“You didn’t scream,” he purred, and moved back down Eva’s body, sliding his torso between her legs.

“Oh, um… no, I haven’t yet,” Eva giggled, watching him. She felt tingly all over. “I did say not to stop until I did…”

Jasper was stroking her labia again, gently. His other hand was on her thigh. Eva sighed in pleasure, which turned onto a moan when she felt his tongue on her again. His lips closed around her clit and Eva clutched at the pillow. Bolts of ecstasy that started to move through her. The pressure seemed to be off Jasper now. He wasn’t worried about her being repulsed or afraid. He closed his eyes and lost himself in her, working with his lips and tongue. Eva was soon trembling again, writhing, and he found himself having to hold her down. She clutched at his arms, at the sheets. She was already over-stimulated from before. Now, she was losing control. Eva moaned loudly. There was no escape, and he wasn’t stopping. He growled into her and she whimpered at the vibrations. Jasper pressed a little harder into her and she felt the twin points of his fangs prick her skin on either side of her clitoris. 

Eva screamed, the pleasure crashing down over her. Her body bucked, trying to escape, but Jasper held her down, keeping his mouth where it was. His tongue snaked inside her and Eva wailed. He continued to lick and lap, growling and snarling in satisfaction. Eva’s hand went to his head, her short nails digging into his scalp, trying to push him away. She couldn't talk, just moan and scream.

Finally, when he thought she had enough, Jasper pulled back. Eva trembled, whimpering and keening on the bed, eyes closed. Jasper wiped his face, growling softly. His body had reacted to that too, and for the first time in the longest time, his sexual arousal was making itself known to him. He sat by Eva, a comforting hand on her stomach as she recovered. 

“Oh, Lord… Jasper…” she whispered.

“I’m no lord,” he chuckled.

“Mmm but you _ are_,” Eva stressed. “I knew from the start you had hidden talents…” She looked at him, smiling blissfully. He smiled back, pleased.

Eva’s gaze drifted down and her eyebrows rose at the tent she could see in his pants. “Oh?”

Jasper also looked down, but out of embarrassment. “Yeah. Um… it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything… it’ll go away when I drop blush of life.”

Eva sat up a little and leaned in closer, stroking his back and the veins that ran down his bony spine. “Can I see it?”

Jasper laughed awkwardly. “I um…”

“Or would that be too much?”

Jasper sighed. Eva pressed himself against him and kissed his shoulder. “It’s okay, we don’t have to do anything else,” she said quietly.

“I do… want to though,” Jasper admitted, just as quietly. “It’s just… you know… nude Nosferatu are to be joked about and feared, only.”

“Mmm… not this one,” Eva said, kissing his shoulder again. She traced one of the thicker dark veins that ran down his back. “This one is to be loved.”

Jasper blinked at her in surprise at that._ Loved _?

Eva giggled at his surprised face. “You have a naked lady in your bed who you just… mmm… _ pleased _ very much… and now she would like to return the favour. But it’s up to you.”

“I… um… y-yeah, okay,” Jasper relented.

“Okay?” Eva checked.

“Yes,” he said with more confidence. He started to unto his pants. Eva helped him, and slipped her hand inside. 

She gasped. He was… huge. Not thick, but long. Longer than most she had experienced. 

Jasper pulled his pants down a little and Eva stroked him gently. It was his turn to moan, leaning against her. It had been a long time since anyone, including himself, had touched him in this way. He wasn’t sure his body was made for it any more. It felt good, but also somehow very wrong.

“How does that feel?” Eva asked.

“Weird,” he admitted. “Like my heart when it started. Not used to it any more. Fuck…” His breath hitched and he snarled.

“I can stop if you want…”

“N-no… it’s okay,” Jasper decided. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to see this through. “Keep going, please…”

“Alright. Lay back.”

Eva and Jasper moved. He kicked off his pants and took her spot on the bed to lay back. His attention to Eva earlier had left a wet spot soaking into the sheets and he could feel it under him. It made him smile, to be reminded of that. 

“You alright?” Eva asked, still stroking him gently. She ran her hands over his thighs as well, admiring their muscles.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I want you to relax, and I hope you enjoy this,” Eva purred, leaning down. “It’s been a little while for me as well, but… I think I remember the basics.” She licked him slowly from base to tip. Jasper flinched, snarling quietly. “And if you want me to stop… let me know,” Eva added. Then she took his cock into her mouth.

Jasper snarled again. His eyes squeezed shut and his hand landed on Eva’s shoulder. She was moving, bobbing, licking. The observation that she was being careful with her fangs flitted through Jasper’s brain before it was chased away by the sensation of Eva circling her tongue around his tip and circumcision scar. His hand moved to her hair, stroking it, clutching at her head. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. 

Eva almost couldn't believe it either. She glanced at his face occasionally, to judge his reaction, but mostly she concentrated on what she was doing. Blow jobs had never been her very favourite activity, but she had wanted to repay the favour to him, and to remind him that perhaps his body could feel pleasures other than anger and fear, the bliss of feeding, the thrill of hunting, or the satisfaction of solving a puzzle. Her hand gripped the base of him as she licked around his tip, admiring again at his length. He would stretch her, she knew, if they ever decided to try intercourse. The thought of that made her clench between her legs again.

It wasn’t too long before Jasper’s heavy breathing hitched. “Wait…” he snarled.

Eva pulled back and looked up at him. “Yes?” His cock twitched in her hand.

Jasper took a moment. “I was close…” he panted, still growling, “and I didn’t want to…”

Eva smiled gently. “It’s okay… I’m happy to um… swallow.” Her cheeks flushed warm again.

Jasper blinked at her, dizzy with the pleasure and lack of blood in his brain. It made Eva giggle.

“Honestly, it’s _ fine_,” she said again. “I promise.”

“But it… I don’t want to…”

“Want to what?” She stroked him gently up and down and Jasper groaned, fangs bared.

“... make you sick,” he finished.

“You won’t make me sick,” Eva assured him. “No more than I made you sick when you ate me out.” She smiled at him, a little devilish, and Jasper smirked. “Okay?”

Jasper sighed. “Okay.”

Eva leaned back down and continued licking him, taking him as deep as she could without gagging, letting her hands stroke his base and testicles. Jasper moaned again, feeling the pressure building. He tensed, his hand pressing on her head. Finally, with a snarl like a scream, he crested. Eva was prepared. She licked and cleaned him, swallowing carefully. 

Jasper’s heart hammered painfully in his chest. No, as good as this was, his body was definitely not used to it any more. His Beast seemed oddly disturbed, grumbling and growling deep inside him, but it wasn’t communicating anything Jasper could understand. This wasn’t feeding or violence or hunting. This was something _ else_, and it was strange and wrong to his Nosferatu Beast and body.

Jasper stroked Eva’s shoulder as she came up to lay alongside him, her arms and legs around him, nude body against nude body. Her skin was silky soft. Eva sighed, content for now. “How do you feel?”

“Still a little strange,” he admitted, wrapping his arm to snuggle around her. “But…” The last thing he wanted was for her to feel bad about anything that they had done. “But good,” he added. “My body’s not… used to that any more and it… it’s hard to describe.”

Eva ran her fingers over a vein in his chest that led to his heart. “So long as you’re okay.”

“Are _ you _ okay?” Jasper asked.

“I’m… _ wonderful_,” Eva sighed again, blissful.

“Then yeah, I’m okay.” Jasper kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Eva.”

She leaned up and kissed his lips gladly. “For what?” she asked, a little cheeky.

“For… making me feel loved, and for making me feel… alive.”

“I could say the same,” she whispered. Eva put her hand to his cheek and kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to read more? This fic has a sequel: ["Down For It"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22905919/chapters/54750160)


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